Honesty and Fairness

Simply put, honesty means being truthful with ourselves and with others. It means caring enough about others not to mislead them for personal benefit. It means facing up to our mistakes, even when we have to admit them to others or when they might get us into trouble. Fairness means acting in
a just way and building decisions, especially important ones, on the basis of evidence rather than prejudice. It means "playing by the rules" and standing up for the right of many people to be treated equally and honestly.

To understand the importance of being honest and fair,children absolutely need to learn that living together in a family,
community or even a nation depends on mutual trust. Without honesty and fairness, trusting each other becomes very difficult, and families--and societies--fall apart.

Words of caution:

There is a big difference between being dishonest--lying or cheating-- and "making things up," as children often do in fantasy play. If children are taught that not telling the truth is "a bad thing," some young children might assume that it is also a bad thing to pretend to be a princess or an astronaut. Although you should discourage your child from deliberately lying and cheating, you should also let him know that it is fine to role play and pretend.

What You Can Do Be a model of honest relations with others. Discuss with your child what honesty is and is not.
Point out, for example, that being honest doesnt mean telling someone you think he looks ugly. Kindness goes along
with honesty. Discuss fairness (chances are that your child will bring it up) in different situations. For example, how do we show fairness in our family?

What does fairness mean to the community? What were standards of fairness in the past? Talk about how you try to be fair in your life and
work. What issues of justice have you wrestled with? Your adolescent will be particularly interested in talking with
you about these things.