The phone conversation had nothing at all to do with
parenting - but it made me think . . .

"Hello, Eastbank Football Club. Can I help you?"
"Good morning, may I speak with the Assistant Coach,
please?"
"Oh, Im sorry. Hes still on vacation."
"I see. Is anyone on the coaching staff there?"
"No, theyre all away right now. The clubs closed for
another week yet. Im only the Groundsman."
"Well, thanks anyway. And hey, why say youre only
the Groundsman? If it was not for you, there wouldnt be a
football club. Theyd have nowhere to play!"
(Pause)
"Yeah, Id never really thought of it like that.
(Laughter)
Thanks a lot, pal, youve made my day!"

So often we do ourselves down, dont we? We devalue our own
contribution or service. "Im only a shop assistant!" "I am
only a . . . " (fill in the blank!) Sometimes we even hear
women say: "I am just a housewife"!

Confidence and self-esteem are almost always in short supply these
days. And nowhere more so than in PARENTING!

Even those who are superbly confident in their work or
social situations, often teeter on the edge when it comes to
their parenting skills.

Why?

Is it something to do with the breakdown in old-fashioned
values and concepts of authority; the widening gulf between
kids and their parents; the dangers we as parents are so
acutely aware of, but which are casually dismissed by our
kids?

Whatever the causes, theres a lot you may do to improve
things.

Step 1
Dr Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power Of Positive
Thinking, used to advise all the people to sit down and write
out a list of all their assets and abilities.

But Dr Peales next suggestion is crucial. Once the list of
assets and abilities has been written, he tells us to raise
the stakes. Simply BELIEVE that you are at the very
least 10% better than you think. Its now widely
acknowledged in modern psychology that youll still be way
off the mark! So have faith. Youre better than you think.

Step 2
Do some study. You probably werent taught parenting skills
at school or college, yet parenting is the most vital
contribution to society. There are lots of books,
courses, tapes, CDs and videos on parenting. No excuses!
Grab some and get busy. Knowledge and insight bring
confidence. Whatever stage youre at, you might improve
yourself.

Step 3
Learn to temper your reaction in stressful parenting
situations. Easier said than done! But you may make a
conscious effort to stay calm and remind yourself of
Dr Peales advice (Youre more capable than you think you
are!), and you might put into practice what youve been
studying about family dynamics.

Step 4
Develop yourself in some way. Yes, remember those piano
lessons you once took, or that art class you attended?
Interests like these are great stress relievers and they
build self-confidence - which is vital for parenting. If
you feel youre already confident in other matters, but
its only in parenting you feel a lack, why not take up
some activity with your kids? Learning together brings you
together, and might be effective fun!

Step 5
Finally, resist any temptation to go it alone. Nature
intended us to be social creatures. Seek advice from
grandparents, relatives, friends. Overcome your pride.
Discuss your parenting challenges with others and draw on
the communal strength. And dyou understand what? Youll find
youre not alone. Lets work on parenting together, as a
community.

Confident parents raise confident kids.

Take action now. If you do nothing, you can look forward to
more of the identical : worry, tension, ill-feeling etc etc.

Zap these negative trends once and for all. To give yourself
a real boost, check out my web page . There you will find lots
more to help you and your kids live life to the full.