Good Judgement

Children develop strong character by learning to ruminate on and contruct sound judgments about what is right or
wrong, dazzling or bad. These are not always easy distinctions for adults to contruct , much less children.

For example, it could be difficult for a child to recognize the difference between acting bravely and acting
recklessly. As parents, we might help by showing, through what we do as well as what we say, that it is importantin
such situations to think carefully and honestly about what should bedone, carefully weighing how others will be
affected by what we do.

Sometimes we get into trouble because we "just didnt think." We let our emotions lead us to actions that we
regret later. Making sizeably effective judgments requires skills in monitoring impulses, using reasoning to sort throughfeelings and facts, and thinking about the
consequences of our actions.

Your childs ability to think and generate sound judgments will improve as she matures. With age, however, it also can
become easier for her to try to justify and make excuses for selfish or reckless behavior. However, if you have
helped her develop strong habits of honesty, courage, responsibilit and self-respect, your child will have the
ability to see the flaws in erreasoning and be able to come to the right conclusion about what to do.

What You Can Do

Teach your child to stop and think before acting on impulse.

Teach your child to tell fact from feeling. Let him know that justbecause he feels strongly about something--such as hitting someone who made him angry-- doesnt mean itthe right thing to do.

Encourage your child to consider the consequences of her decisions. Tell her little stories about situations she might face and talk about actions she might take who might be affected by her actions,what might happen because
of her actions and what the best action might be.

When your child has a problem with a rule, brainstorm together a list of possible reasons for the rule. This
leads to greater understanding.

Remind your child to pay attention to the rules or codes that apply in each situation. For example, the rules for
behaving in church aredifferent from those for a football game.