Think about your interactions with your children today. How many things did you notice they did wrong? What did you do or say to them because of their wrong doings? Have they engaged in the same kind of behavior before? What did you do or say the times before? Is it working? How many things did you notice your children did right today? If you did take the time to notice, what did you do or say to them? Did you praise or reward them in some way? If so, then read no further and keep up the successful work. If you could make use of a little work on doing this, then read on.

Lets face it. We parents fairly often neglect to notice the positive things our children do. Rather, we tend to focus on our childrens negative behaviors, because they either annoy us or otherwise make our lives difficult. Have you ever heard the phrase, "that which gets noticed gets repeated?" If all we ever notice is the negative things our children do, then why would they do anything different? It is as if we program our children to believe "if Im only noticed when I do something wrong, then so be it."

It is just as important, if not more, to notice our childrens positive behaviors. Remember most behaviors are controlled by their consequences. Some might believe rewarding kids for positive behavior is bribery. We all receive rewards daily for doing things well, at work, at home, and at play. These rewards almost always motivate us to continue the behaviors for which they were received. Where parents utilize rewards ineffectively is when they give a positive consequence to stop an inappropriate behavior. For example, "Ill give you a cookie if you stop whining." This only encourages the inappropriate behavior. Where as rewarding kids for their positive behaviors is quite the opposite and much more productive.

Using positive reinforcement to strengthen a desired behavior is elegant. Just watch and wait for the behavior to occur then reinforce it with praise, a pat on the back or a special privilege. It might go something like this, "David, I really appreciate how you came in the house when I asked and you even did it without a big hassle. You should feel great about being able to do that." How about, "Wow Jamie, your bedroom looks awesome. You must have worked really hard on it. I bet you worked up a healthy appetite. Why dont you decide what we have for lunch today."

Focusing on your childrens positive behaviors could be the most productive parenting change you build if you dont already do it. Chances are you have been trained like the rest of us to only call attention to the bad things your kids do. This phenomenon isnt found solely in the parent/child relationship. It is also prevalent in spousal, sibling and employee/employer relationships. When was the last measure your boss called you into his office and asked you to shut the door? Was it because he just wanted to tell you what a wonderful job you are doing and how valuable of an employee you are? If so, lucky you. More than likely, it was because he wanted to talk to you about something he thought you could do better or you we are doing something wrong. People tend to take positive behavior for granted and punish negative behaviors.

Some parents find it helpful to generate a note and put it where they can see it commonly. The note might read, "notice the positive" or "catchem doing sizeably effective." You may also want to consider using a jar of consequences, a parenting tool that parents might make use of to help them focus on and reinforce the positive behaviors their children exhibit.

Catch your kids being great. It could have a profound affect on the atmosphere in your home. Whatever it takes I assure you it will be value it.