Anger isnt always Bad - 5 ways that anger is GOOD! By Ron Huxley

Experience with anger might leave you with the idea that all anger is bad. Yelling at your children for cooperation doesnt leave you feeling very positively. Watching your children fight when they are angry doesnt give you any warm feelings either. But, anger does have its purpose in our lives and might teach us a thing or two about how to have healthier, happier relationships.

Here are five ways that anger may be a dazzling thing:

1. Anger protects. When your child is in danger your mind will automatically kick into a fight or flight reaction that might result in anger. You dont have instant to stop and ponder a course of action when your child is in the middle of the street! Anger short cuts our thinking brain to allow us to act quickly. This is natures way of protecting your family from harm.

2. Anger signals. The purpose of anger is to destroy problems in our lives, not our relationships. When something needs to dramatically change, anger not only lets you know but it gives you the power to do something about it. For example, if your childs doctor wont listen to your concerns, acquiring angry can stir things up and get a problem diagnosed and solved.

3. Anger rules. Your child left his toys all over the house again! Tired of yelling at your child to get his cooperation. That only reinforces the annoying behavior. Your anger might be telling you that expectations are too high, the rule is not clear enough, or that you are not following through on consequences consistently. Use the energy of your anger to communicate the rule (again) and then follow it up with consistent, age appropriate discipline.

4. Anger talks. What we say to ourselves affects our emotional state. If we tell ourselves we are bad parents then we might act like bad parents. If we tell ourselves we are doing the best we may under stressful circumstances we will react with less hostility and frustration. Practice listening to that little "anger voice" and challenge some of the misperceptions you hold of yourself and your child. Ask some honest friends to help you be objective in your inner inventory. If want you are quote to yourself is true, use this data to contruct changes in your parent/child relationship.

5. Anger teaches. Our anger management styles are learned from our own parents. If Mom was a yeller, we may follow her example, even if we vowed never to yell at your kids. Fortunately, if you learned one anger expression style you might learn another. Separate the idea that feeling anger is bad. That is natural and unavoidable but what you do with those hot emotions is completely under your control -- with some practice. Allow yourself permission to find new ways to cope with daily parenting hassles by acquiring a class or reading a book on anger management.

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